Saturday, October 24, 2015

A Two-Minute Book Pitch for DEATH AND WHITE DIAMONDS by Jeff Markowitz


Charlene? 
[It's Charlie and I'm a guy.]
Whatever. 
Who is this idiot and how did he get into my office during tanning time?
[You're always tanning and he had an appointment]
Hmmmph. OK. 
Can't you take off that beard? No? 
OK. Let's get this over with. 
How did you come up with the idea?
I was walking on the beach one night in North Cape May when I imagined a body, dead at the waterline. The knife was still warm in my hand.

North Cape May? 
That's really Wildwood--
dead bodies are a dime a dozen in Wildwood.
 Never mind. 
What’s the Teaser Pitch that got you into my door? 
Richie's girlfriend suggested a romantic getaway, promised him a week-end he will never forget. So why can't he remember what happened, when he finds her lifeless body on the beach?
Richie is pretty sure he didn't kill his girlfriend, but his memory is hazy. One thing, however, is clear. When Lorraine's body is found, he's going to be the prime suspect in a murder investigation. If her body is found. Disposing of the body turns out to be harder than Richie could have imagined. Losing it, however, is easy.

 So your Hero is Richie?
I'll bet he can't forget.
 I can see young Donald Sutherland in the role 
or maybe that kid with the googly eyes on Mr. Robot.
How does he change in the book?
Richie would tell you that his story is a classic case of Why do bad things happen to good people?  He had the bad fortune, he would tell you, of discovering his girlfriend, dead on the beach, and then things just sort of spun out of control. He’s a sociopath, but I bet you’ll be rooting for him all the way to the end.
Hey, this is Hollywood. 
We got nothing but sociopaths out here.  
Why this title?
The title evokes the scene, captured on the book cover, when Richie finds his girlfriend’s body on the beach. Also, the following morning, when he wakes up next to his dead girlfriend and breathes in the aroma of her favorite perfume.

OH! I get it! White Diamonds that the old fat broad was pitching.
[That would be the immortal Elizabeth Taylor, you idiot!]
Sure. Sure. Whatever. 
See if we can get her.
 What’s the logline?
Did you ever have one of those days? And you haven’t even gotten to the bad part yet.

Not bad. Not bad. 
 Why should I, The Rich and Insanely Handsome Book Mogul, buy it?

You’ll feel better knowing that someone is having a worse day than you are. And the chum cannon scene alone is worth the price of admission.

Chum Cannon? 
Hmmm. I could use that on Elon Musk...or better yet WITH Elon Musk. 
Sweetheart! Stop the Presses! We're rolling out... What's the name of this book again? 

[Right after I file this week's sexual harassment complaint.}




Sunday, October 18, 2015

Two Minute Pitch for Wrong Crowd by Richard Godwin

Who the hell are you? 
Maxine, how did this maniac get in here?
(He's your 3 o'clock appointment, moron!) 
Oh
OK. Well, don't just sit there. Sell me
How did you come up with the idea?

 I’d been thinking a lot about the fact that according to a leading financial expert London’s economy is propped up by Russian Mafia and Colombian cartel money, I’d also been thinking about the art world, writing the character of an art thief who gets involved with the Russian Mafia through a turf war involving his East End villain mate came naturally, as did writing Maxine, the beautiful woman with no past who is at the centre of the novel’s action.
What’s the Teaser Pitch?
Art thief falls in love with a femme fatale in the Caribbean, and gets sucked into a criminal maelstrom.
Who is your hero and how does he change in the book?
He is an art thief and a romantic. His obsession with Maxine drives his actions and places him in the wrong crowd.
Why did you pick this title?
· It completely sums up the world of hustlers, pimps, gun runners and gangsters.
What’s the logline?
A sultry novel in which an art thief finds himself out of his depth in a criminal maelstrom when he meets a beautiful woman with no past. 
Give me a quick synopsis
When Claude meets Maxine in the Caribbean he falls for her. He does not expect he will start an affair with her back in London, then again he does not expect to have to call on the help of his old mate Spike, nor that will they become embroiled with Russian gangsters Vladimir and Grigory.
But then Claude will do anything to hold onto Maxine.

Peopled with thieves, hustlers, gangsters, gun runners and pimps, Wrong Crowd is a slick and action-packed ride into London’s low-life. East End villains and the Russian Mafia collide in a fast-paced novel of deceit and criminal obsession that sparkles as it speeds towards its astonishing conclusion. 
OK, let’s cut to the chase. 
Why should I, the Rich and Handsome Movie Mogul, buy this book?
Because it will make you more.
More Rich or More Handsome! 
Never mind! It's all Good! 
Maxine, cut this man a check. 
Just leave the amount blank. This is going to be a HIT. 

Dave Nicholson Reads from his Great New Book "Flying Home: Seven Stories of the Secret City."

The book is great. Razor-sharp writing with characters that live on the pages and descriptions as complex and layered as reality itself. You can get it on Amazon  but listen to David read some of it right here-free.

Review
by Terry Irving
OK, I'm a dumb white boy and there are times reading David Nicholson's book of stories that I feel as if I shouldn't keep reading. The accurate and nuanced portrayals of black life--and black life in the city I've lived in but have not been a real part of for 40 years--make me feel as if I should step back and stop trying to pretend I understand because that's simply impossible. But "Flying Home" is too good not to read, and reread, even if it's almost a guilty pleasure to catch a glimpse of other lives so different, it's like looking through a window at night when the blinds aren't completely closed. I can almost catch the real meaning of the music--jazz, blues, even Jimi Hendrix--that otherwise eludes me.

On the other hand, these are stories and language and lives that are just too damn good to pass up just because you have the misfortune not to be black in Washington DC. Or the fortune not to be black in Washington, DC. It's the same thing.

I hate short stories. Hate them. But I read these all twice and will probably read them again. They are beautifully written with the accurate cadence of the people who tell them--one or two of whom are even David Nicholson. Or parts of him at least.

Buy the book. Read the stories. I suspect that if you're black, you'll feel them speaking but I know that if you're white, you can at least hear echoes of real people in real places in a universe that exists right next to yours.

Damn! I really wish I could write like this!

Buy it here

Friday, October 16, 2015

Jon Reznick returns in Hard Kill by J.B. Turner

That's right folks!
If you loved Hard Road by J.B. Turner then your day just got a whole lot better, because ex-Special Forces operative Jon Reznick is back in Hard Kill!
The sequel to Hard Road sees Reznick join a top secret
team to locate a missing American diplomat. His teammates believe
Islamist terrorists are behind the disappearance, but Reznick has other
ideas...
Hard Kill promises to be a high-octane, pulse pounding thriller that you simply can't afford to miss.
Hard Kill by J.B. Turner

buy at Amazon


An American diplomat goes missing and ex-Special Forces operative Jon
Reznick joins a top secret team, led by FBI Assistant Director Martha
Meyerstein, to help track him down.
The team believes that there may be a terrorist group – perhaps
Islamists – who have kidnapped him, as the diplomat’s area of expertise
is the Persian Gulf. But Reznick is training his sights on an unlikely
candidate – a leading Washington DC surgeon.
But as the team itself comes under attack, and the 9/11 commemoration
approaches, it becomes clear that the kidnapping is part of a much
bigger plot, one that threatens not only New York, but the whole country
too.

Monday, October 12, 2015

Saylor Storm's Two Minute Pitch for BASKING IN THE LIGHT

 How did you come up with the idea?

I was having coffee with a friend at an outdoor cafĂ©. Our dog was quite interested in a man across the way who was talking to himself and very protective of a small blue and white cooler that was by his side. As the man became more agitated by our dog’s interest in his cooler, my friend leaned over to me and quietly whispered, “Maybe there’s a head in there!”

What’s the teaser pitch?

Sweet young girl tries online dating for the first time. It turns out to be the worst decision of her life; far beyond her worst nightmare. Handsome FBI agent intervenes and tries to save the day before it’s too late. Imagine Jon Hamm rescuing damsel in distress, Scarlett Johansen.

Who is the hero, how does he change the book?

Stranger to any of life’s tragedies, innocent, Ellen Singer, is thrown in to the most horrendous, challenging situation that any of us could ever imagine. Her new circumstances require strength or surrender and young Ellen rises to the occasion, trying her best to use her mind over the matter to survive her blood curdling situation. We cheer for the heroine, hoping that we would be as strong if given the same circumstances.

Why pick this title?

Basking in the Light” is a play on words. My heroine is held captive in a dark cabin, except for a small crack of light. She focuses on that crack of light every day and imagines that she is basking in it. Essentially, it’s Ellen’s focus on the crack of light that keeps her sane.

What is the Logline?

Nice girl tries online dating; it was the worst decision of her life!

Why buy the book?

Basking the in the Light” is a page-turner. It will keep you entertained and in the process you will learn a thing or two about serial killers!

A TWO-MINUTE PITCH FOR The Case Of The Unfamiliar Husband by E.J. Cooperman

Ok, OK. I'm a busy Mogul. 
Gimme the Straight Pitch.  
Well, it’s the second in a series, so the characters and relationships are fairly established. A second book is about expanding and reinforcing what came in the first. So with Ms. Washburn having left Questions Answered at the end of the first book, the idea was to find a way to bring her back. Samuel needed a question to answer that didn’t play into his expertise but would be in line with Janet’s. So he gets a question about marriage and he seeks her out. We get the impression he’s been looking for an excuse.


·  My fifth wife had a question about marriage but it was 
"How Much Can I Get? " 
OK, sell me the teaser.
“Who’s that man in my bed who says he’s my husband?”

Wow. I had that happen to me in Reno just last week.
But enough about me. 
Who is your hero and how does he change in the book?
Samuel Hoenig is a man in his 30s who happens to have Asperger’s syndrome, a disorder classified on the autism spectrum. He considers it to be part of his personality and not a disability and treats it as such. Others might disagree. How does he change? Read the damn book and find out.


·  Read it? Are you kidding?
 I'll wait for the Classic Comics edition
   Why did you pick this title?
The publisher wanted all the books in the series to begin with “The Question of...” so the plot sort of dictated the title.

·      What’s the logline?
A man with Asperger’s is asked by a woman to find out who the man claiming to be her husband might be. When the man is discovered murdered in Samuel’s office, he takes that personally and strives to solve the murder.

·      OK, let’s cut to the chase. 
Why should I, 
the Incredibly Rich and Handsome Movie Mogul, 
buy this book?

There isn’t an actor on Earth who doesn’t want to play Samuel (even if they don’t know it yet) and besides, Asperger’s has touched so many lives by now that there’s a built-in audience.

IT'S A HIT! BOX OFFICE BOFFO! 
SWEETHEART, INK THIS RUBE TO
A CONTRACT BEFORE GOLDWYN DOES!