Monday, November 2, 2015

Myles Knapp does a 2 Minute Pitch for Revenge School

All Right. All right. 
Take off that motorcycle helmet and speak up.
I'm a busy mogul. So. 
Where do you get your ideas? 
All my ideas come at the keyboard. Type, type, type. Two hundred words. Or maybe ten thousand or fifteen thousand. Sooner or later a couple of words will jump out at you screaming:
“Wowee, Zowee! Here’s a good idea.”
 Of course some ideas, often the best, come from my wife who says, “Here’s something you could do.” Then I grouse about it. And say things like I’m the writer. And it’s my story. But she’s mostly always right.

Yeah, my 5th wife was like that. A real pain...
[Mr. Mogul! You know she has a restraining order against you saying that!]
I swear the next time, 
I'm just going to find a woman 
I don't like and buy her a house.  
 What's Your Teaser Pitch?
A vigilante groups open a “Revenge School” where ordinary people learn how to get more than even. Lessons include “Delivering Instant, Painful Justice,” and “Getting More Than Even.”

Ok, I like the sound of that.
[Of course you did, nimrod. That's how he got in the door!]
I gotta fire that girl one of these days. 
Who is your hero and how does he change in the book?
The leader of the Revenge Team is Pay. He is a big man who to helps victims help themselves. He is addicted to the adrenaline of violent justice.I don’t believe the stuff going around about characters needing to be complex with a mixture of good and bad or weakness and strength. (The standard example used for this thinking is Hannibal Lecter. Industry pundits say he is a great character because he is full of contradictions. I say *&^%. Lecter is a great character because he eats live humans brains. And unless you are a writer I bet you don’t remember much else about him except, perhaps that he also ate Fava Beans.)As far as character arc, what was Superman’s character arc? He was popular for years without a character arc. It’s only recently that people in the industry decided he needed an arc. I don’t think readers or movie goers care one little tiny bit. They just want to like the hero. And they want him to kick evils butt.So, I don’t worry about Pay changing much. In the first story, his client, Richard, is a fairly typical American male in that he doesn’t have the skills necessary to protect himself and his family. Richard’s character arc is to move from mouse to man.

Cool. 
We can sell that as the Courage Not to Change. 
Or something. 
Anyway. why this title?
Because, after I wrote about 10,000 words, those two words jumped up and screamed TITLE.
And because I showed it to several writers I respect and they all said, “Darn Good Title.” Or, “That’s a Franchise title.” And I could see them thinking, “Boy I wish I’d thought of that.” And, “If this guy doesn’t do something with that idea, I wonder if I can use it.”

I hope you sued that last jerk into bankruptcy. 
The logline--what am I putting on the posters? 
I’ll give you a choice of three. 
For Movie People: It’s Death Wish, Die Hard and Lethal Weapon smashed together and updated for the 21st century.

For Book People: Its Robert Parker’s Spenser combined with a bit of Bond & Bourne to create a 21st century vigilante team that gives the power to deliver instant painful justice to the universal everyman and everywoman.

For Real People: A team of heroic friends help victims deliver instant, painful justice. (This one is my favorite.)

Ouch!
Don't make me think! It triggers my need for 
Peruvian Marching Powder! 
Breath Deeply and Think Quiet Thoughts.
Ommmmm
OK I'm back. 
Why should I buy your book? 
And just one answer this time...


What? I make the jokes here! 

I'm sorry Mr. Mogul sir. Please get down off your desk.
Here’s what you can expect.
  1. A few hours of entertaining escape.
  2. You'll learn something about ways to protect yourself.
  3. But if you are looking for “Literatoor,” (Literature, often pronounced with a rising inflection and a pinky finger held carefully away from a china tea cup, by an erudite gentleman in a velvet smoking jacket) this is not the book for you.
  4. This is the kind of book you read anywhere—in bed, on the porch in your favorite rocker, on the bus, in the subway … It’s the kind of book you read with a beer, or wine, or iced tea or coffee. My favorite reader comment was from a guy who read it on his phone while he was waiting in lines at Disneyworld. He said, “Revenge School made the interminable lines something I almost looked forward to.”
Dynamite! We can sell it to 
Disney / Katzenberg / Slo Jam / Legendary! 
We'll make gazillions! 
Charlene!
[It's Valerie, nimrod!]
                             Whatever, sign this guy up and find me an NA meeting.
Buy Revenge School At Amazon



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