Thursday, January 28, 2016

Barry Lancet's Pacific Burn: 2-Minute Move Pitch

(So tell me all about it, you big hunk of author you) 
PACIFIC BURN (Simon & Schuster) is the third entry in the award-winning mystery-thriller series featuring art dealer and reluctant PI Jim Brodie. Someone is killing off the family of a famous artist, who happens to be a friend of Brodie’s. When Brodie steps in to help, he is set upon by the CIA, FBI, and Homeland Security.  Then a yakuza associate who owes Brodie a favor tells him he’s a walking dead man—because a legendary assassin who even the Japanese mafia try to avoid just received a contract on him.  Worse, the killer has never failed in performing a commission.  As Brodie tries to unravel why he and his artist-friend are targets, he uncovers a connection to one of the biggest tragedies — and alleged cover-ups — In Japanese history, the nuclear disaster in Fukashima.
How can Brodie possibly survive?

Wheatley, you little scamp. 
I told you to stop talking to authors
 in the reception area!
You're fired! 

(You can't fire me . You haven't paid me for months.
Anyway, I'm your second son by your third ex-wife 
so it's either hire me or just hand me money.)

Did I actually name a kid Wheatley? 
Well, stop wasting time and get back to work.
And send that author fellow in. 
What's his name? 

(Barry Lancet)

OK, Lancelot. You've got two minutes. 
Give me a hard fastball and if it scores a touchdown, 
we'll run it up the flagpole and see who salutes.  

It's Lancet and I haven't heard anyone talk like that since Mad Men went off the air. 


What do they know? I stole it from Pogo. 

Now, How did you come up with the idea?

One of the opening scenes just came to me while I was waiting for a plane at Kennedy Airport after ThrillerFest.  That happens a lot, scenes hitting me at unusual times. Another thread was suggested by readers’ ongoing concern over the radiation leak from the nuclear plant meltdown in Japan—and the alleged cover-up. 

What’s the Teaser Pitch ? 
You know, what got you in to see me in the first place?
This is the third Jim Brodie novel, after JAPANTOWN and TOKYO KILL. The Fugitive meets The China Syndrome, with Brodie first playing the Tommy Lee Jones role as tracker and then finding himself running for his life like Harrison Ford.  Meanwhile, ominous information about the nuclear power plant meltdown in Japan reaches his ears. 

Who is this Brodie person and how does he change in the book?
Jim Brodie, of course. Brodie is a regular guy with talent and a fascinating yet complex background as a Japan expert/antiques dealer in San Francisco and a second-generation PI by default (he inherited half of his father’s thriving PI/security firm in Tokyo). 
He’s also a widower with a smart seven-year-old daughter named Jenny, who is energetic but also weary of losing her father too.  Brodie tries to balance his professional commitments in the U.S. and Japan, as well as his personal commitments to his daughter and friends.  These all collide when Brodie must face the startling realization that his friend’s family is being attacked and Brodie’s efforts to help them seem to lead to more tragedy. 

Wait a second, 
the Pacific is an ocean.
Wheatley! Can an Ocean burn ?
(How would you know? You never leave air conditioning.
I know a River in Cleveland burned. Why not an Ocean?)
OK, OK.
Why this title?
The title PACIFIC BURN is a “triple play” on three plot threads.  Someone is out to “burn” a rich artist’s family; it is also a reference to the radiation leakage of the meltdown of Japan’s nuclear plant; and last, it is a nod to a legendary assassin’s determination to wipe Jim Brodie off the face of the earth.  

What’s the logline?
Japantown’s Jim Brodie may have met his match—a conspiracy of government and organized crime forces intent on maintaining a cover-up concerning one of the biggest disasters in Japanese history. 

Why should I buy it?
Because PACIFIC BURN comes with a money-back guarantee from Simon & Schuster.  
REALLY?
Okay, that’s not true, but check out the early reviews here from Nelson DeMIlle, Steve Berry, and Suspense Magazine. 

This is a very different kind of mystery-thriller series.  As an expat American living in Tokyo for more than two decades, I wanted to show people some of the exciting things I’m seeing in the Far East and some of the dangerous stuff.  The series attracted J. J. Abrams’s attention, so if you don’t trust me there’s always the guy who made an obscure little film this year . . .

Oh, yeah.  J.J. Abrams. 
Well, I know Steven Spielberg's 
empathy coach's personal trainer 
so you're not the only big deal in this office.  
Wheatley, cut this man a check for a cool million. 
(You haven't GOT a million of any temperature.
and my Mom wants her alimony.)
Use the third refinance 
on the fourth house.
It will be fine.

Thursday, January 21, 2016

2-Minute Movie Pitch for D.L. Orton's Crossing In Time (Between Two Evils #1)

OK, OK, I'm very busy so keep this short. 
You've got this book, Two Weevils? 
What is it about? Cotton Farmers? 

The name of the Series is "Between Two Evils." There are no Weevils.

Too bad. I was seeing a battle with
 giant Weevils against Vietnam Vets 
with a clandestine cargo of Agent Orange. 
Well, I might give that one to Legendary. 
So, back to your book.  
How did you come up with the idea?

I wanted to write a compelling love story that was the antithesis of Fifty Shades of Grey: No ditzes, no demigods, and no one-sided, power-driven sex.

What could you have against 
one-sided, power-driven sex? 
It's what drives this town. 
Well, that and scient... 
Ooops. Forget I said that.
(speaks loudly to his desk lamp) 
I  WAS GOING TO SAY 
"SCIENTISTS." 
Ok, give me the Teaser Pitch?

Fall into this edgy, action-packed, darkly comedic, dystopian love story, and be prepared to encounter a finicky time machine, a mysterious seashell, and a very clever dog (some sex, some swearing, some violence, but no vampires and absolutely no ditzes.)


I wonder if DiCaprio would be interested in the part of the dog.
Hey, Felipe! Get me DiCaprio on the phone.
(He's got a restraining order against you, remember?)
Sheesh, some guys just can't take a joke. 
I wish he'd stayed in that horse's belly.
Where were we? Oh, right.
Tell me about your hero
and how she changes in the book.

Step into Isabel’s lonely, cynical life, and against all odds, fall madly in love, let go of pessimism (even though it's the last lifejacket on a sinking ship), and race against the clock (without the proper footwear.) This is a coming of age story for old fogeys, a how to fall in love guide for diehard singles, and a laugh out loud tragedy with a hopeful twist.
Across the infinite expanse of space and time, love endures. (Unfortunately, it’s not going to be enough.)

Wow, I love that. 
You've hit every demographic 
except people with aluminum foil hats. 
Why did you pick this Title? 
I still prefer the Weevils, you know. 


I wanted something that captured both the time travel AND love story elements of the book (and included a bit of word play). CrossingIn Time can mean “finding someone before it’s too late” and also “moving through time.” Perfect!

I'll decide what's "perfect," young lady. 
It's Perfect!
What's the logline?

If someone took everything you live for, how far would you go to get it back?

Fantastic!
OK, let’s cut to the chase. 
Why should I, 
the Incredibly Rich and Handsome Publishing Mogul, 
buy this book?

Remember how it feels to Fall in Love?
Race against the clock through a dystopian nightmare.
·      Climb naked into an untested time machine (carrying only a seashell and a promise).
·      Wake up twenty years younger on a tropical beach, buck naked and mortally wounded, with your heart in your throat. 

This is a journey of passion, loss, and redemption that will have your pulse galloping and your palms sweating, make you laugh out loud through your tears, and leave you flush with the sublime pleasure of being in the arms of the one you love.


You had me at "naked in a time machine!"
Felipe, cut a check for 75 large.
We've got a MEGAHIT on our hands. 
Crossing in Time